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I got it working.. my problem was actually that my slave (a copy of the master's vm) had the master's hostname on 127.0.0.1 in /etc/hosts. Oops.
Works great now. I will be re-doing it to use TLS.
One thing that I did was add a checkpoint directive since the ubuntu server guide instructions didn't include one. I am not sure I got it right. I am still somewhat mystified by the correspondence between what you might put in slapd.conf and what ldif you need to get the same effect with the cn=config method.
dn: olcOverlay={0}syncprov,olcDatabase={2}hdb,cn=config
add: olcSpCheckPoint
olcSpCheckPoint: 100 10
